It’s hard work making a relationship operate smoothly. When your partner appears less patient and understanding it hurts.  It may seem that your partner has changed or not the person you fell in love with. Perhaps you are stuck in a power struggle and don’t know how to stop the cycle of putting one and other down. Maybe you feel betrayed. Disappointment and resentment so easily sour the connection. It is frustrating not being able to get through to your loved one. You may be wondering whether you should stay together or make a break. 

You have made a huge investment in each other.  It is worth honoring that investment and getting dividends by learning some important relationship “do‘s and don’ts.”  Whether you are a heterosexual, gay or lesbian couple, I can help you find a pathway to effective communication and build the foundation for a solid relationship.

1. Share feelings in a way that invites your partner to listen
2. Educate each other about your hot button issues
3. Listen without prejudging or making inaccurate assumptions
4. Honor your partner’s feelings without giving up your own
5. Give each other feedback without judgment and criticism
6. Express your irritations in ways that help your partner find new ways of relating to you.
7. Recognize the traps you seem to get caught in over and over again.
8. Take preventive action to avoid the negative spiral of those painful traps.
9. Distinguish between healthy and unhealthy fights
10. Use sex for connection rather than as a weapon of power

1. Grieve the loss of your identity as a member of a partnership
2. Manage the stress of the transition
3. Regain confidence
4. Remain a good parent if you have children