You probably hate yourself when you get angry. It’s embarrassing when you let it out, and oppressive when you keep it in.  Appreciating that anger comes from a place of hunger as in the saying ‘A hungry bear is an angry bear’ is a useful way to understand your anger.

Knowing what you want but not being able to get it is doubly frustrating. When you feel you have come so close, done all right things, behaved in all the right ways and you still don’t get seen and attended to,  the rage of protest can disrupt relationships and make it even less likely to bring you the satisfaction you crave.

Often you may not know precisely what you are hungry for. Perhaps you have an idea of what you want but have no clue how to get it. It may be as simple as acknowledgement or may it as complicated as wanting a dead loved one back again. Very often anger and rage comes from a loss you are not ready for, such as having your cherished dream shattered.

If you are irritable, short tempered and snappy at trivial every day things, your anger may be lodged in an old experience that keeps getting triggered like a raw open wound. If you explode from time to time over what appears to be no big deal later on, your anger may be an automatic response to what feels like a life and death situation.  It’s as if one part of you is acting without your permission.

1. Family abuse and put downs
2. Family feuds
3. Unfair treatment at work or in the family
4. Scapegoating and manipulation by family members
5. Bereavement
6. Jealousy and Envy
7. Feeling Ignored, taken for granted, left out, or misunderstood
8. Loss  of job and or identity
9. Loss of home, custody of children, pets, friends
10. Loss of health
11. Loss of independence
12. Loss of power and influence
13. Loss of opportunity due to an accident or misfortune
14. Loss of youth and attractiveness